How Many Hours Does It Take To Make a Friend?

We live in a world of instant gratification where we can have almost anything we want instantaneously, but this study from the University of Kansas proves that friendship isn’t like that. So, how many hours does it take to make a friend? 

How Many Hours Does It Take To Make a Friend?

Well, a lot. The study found it takes 40-60 hours to form a casual friendship; 80-100 hours to transition to a friend; and more than 200 hours to become good friends. Friendship takes time and work.

Associate Professor Jeffrey Hall Hall said. “We have to put that time in. . . You can’t snap your fingers and make a friend. Maintaining close relationships is the most important work we do in our lives.”

If you want to build strong relationships, you have to put in the time. Be patient as you grow relationships. It’s easy to get frustrated when a friendship doesn’t come quickly or easily, but keep trying. It is worth it! 

How To Be a Good Friend

Being a good friend may come easily to you or take more practice. Hall teaches “You can’t make people spend time with you, but you can invite them. Make it a priority to spend time with potential friends.”

Many of the modern manners can help you out as you try to be a good friend or find new friends. Try learning more about how to be inclusive, make room for one more, how to tell someone no nicely, hygiene tips for teens, when to be on time, how to treat your friends’ younger siblings and other tips for going to a friend’s house. 

Teach Kids and Teens How Many Hours It Takes To Make a Friend

Ask younger kids to think of a friend they would like to get to know better. Help them invite their friend over so they can spend more time together.

Talk to your teen about this manner then issue this challenge: make a plan to spend time with someone you think you would enjoy. Be willing to put the time and effort into becoming better friends.

The Johnsons Make New Friends

When the Johnsons moved from the town they had lived in for years to somewhere completely new. Everyone was feeling exceptionally lonely. As they unpacked, they stumbled upon 52 Modern Manners for Today’s Teens and decided to display the tip “friendship takes time and work”. This one tip helped give everyone a new perspective on their new friendships. They all decided to make an effort to spend more time with the people they were meeting so they could have a chance at creating real, lasting friendships. 

Get more Modern Manners in Your Home or Classroom

Buy the book! It has changed the lives of over 100,000 families and significantly improved connection and communication between parents and teens! In the book, you’ll get 52 tips including my number one tip for high school, how to answer “What do you like to do?”, and house guest etiquette rules for teens. 

Leave a Comment

This study is a great reminder that we need to align our expectations with our reality! Do your kids know how many hours it takes to make a friend? Is this a reminder you needed as an adult too?