Modern Manners for Today’s Teens: Don’t Share Hurtful Things

You may think you are being the “good guy” by letting someone know they are being talked about, but when you share hurtful things you are usually just causing more unnecessary drama. Everyone is human. People get bugged with each other and sometimes say things they shouldn’t. Even if your intentions are good, sharing hurtful things causes pain to everyone involved and puts you in the middle of drama. As the old saying goes, don’t borrow trouble. If it is hurtful, don’t share or repeat it. 

Don’t Borrow Trouble

Never bait others to say or type something mean. Doing this almost always causes problems for YOU in the end. Don’t borrow trouble. The best thing you can do is be supportive and kind, in words and texts, and encourage others to do the same. Be the friend you would want to have. 

don't borrow trouble

Once in a while something dangerous or harmful is going around about a friend. If that is the case, talk to a trusted adult to see if an intervention is necessary.

Teach Younger Kids this Manner

Role playing can have a powerful impact on younger kids. Have them be the person being talked about so they can understand how it might make someone feel.

Teach Teens this Manner

Ask about a time someone did this to them or a time they saw it happen. Discuss how much better the situation would have been if no one had caused unnecessary drama. Talk about the different meanings of the phrase “don’t borrow trouble” and remind them of the kind of friend they should be.

A Success Story

A ten year old girl had a really sweet experience with this manner. Some girls at dance were talking about another friend when she wasn’t there. They were saying unkind things about her and about her body. She knew it wasn’t right, so she stayed quiet. Later, she decided to tell this friend everything that had been said. That night, she flipped to this manner in the book. When she read it, she realized immediately that what she had done was wrong. A good friend would have stood up to the unkind things being said. If she wasn’t brave enough to do that, she could have at least kept the hurtful comments from her friend. She resolved to do better next time. 

Do you want more Modern Manners in Your Home or Classroom?

Buy the book! It has changed the lives of over 100,000 families and significantly improved connection and communication between parents and teens! In the book, you’ll get 52 modern manners including other cell phone etiquette tips, like why you should keep your phone on silent and when to reply to a text. 

Leave a Comment

Do you see this kind of thing happening with your teens? Any experiences to share? How do you deal with it in your home?