Dating Red Flags for Teens: Is Your Relationship Healthy?
Dating red flags for teens are some of the most important things a parent can help a teenager learn to recognize — because teenagers are rarely taught what a healthy relationship actually looks like before they are already in one. If your teen needs help knowing when a relationship has crossed a line, these 15 questions can open the conversation. There is a free printable version available through the link in the original post.
Dating Red Flags for Teens: 15 Questions to Ask
Does your S/O get possessive or mad when you are with your family or friends? In healthy relationships, both people stay close to and make time for those who are important to them.
Does your S/O want you to stop doing things you love? In healthy relationships, people encourage each other to pursue the things that make them fulfilled and happy.
Does your S/O make you feel bad about your appearance or self-conscious about the way you look? In healthy relationships, the person you are with makes you feel more confident about the way you look, not less confident.
Does your S/O get very jealous very easily or try to make you jealous? In healthy relationships, people feel secure and loved instead of jealous.
Does your S/O want you to hide things from people you love and respect? In healthy relationships, there is no need to hide things from people who care about you.
Are you constantly worried about your S/O and their reaction to things? In healthy relationships, both people manage their own moods and reactions. They don’t burden or rely on others to do that.
Does your S/O bring you down, add lots of drama, or put you in a bad mood? In healthy relationships, there are always ups and downs, but the person you love should make your life more enjoyable, not harder.
Does your S/O push you to do things that go against your standards or values, or ignore your physical boundaries? In healthy relationships, people respect values and boundaries. If someone doesn’t, you should walk away.
Does your S/O manipulate you by making you responsible for their mental or physical health? In healthy relationships, each person takes ownership and responsibility for themselves. A teen cannot carry the burden of another person’s mental or physical health.
Has your S/O made you change for the worse? In healthy relationships, people make each other better, not worse.
Has your S/O ever been violent or verbally abusive? If so, you need to get out immediately.
Does your S/O want to keep your relationship a secret? In healthy relationships, people are proud of the person they are dating, not ashamed of them.
Is your S/O unkind to the people that matter to you? In healthy relationships, both people care about each other’s feelings and the people who matter to them.
Does your S/O talk rudely about you to others? In healthy relationships, people build each other up, in public and private.
Does your S/O pick fights, then love bomb you to force forgiveness? Healthy relationships don’t thrive on extremes. They should feel stable, not erratic.
What These Dating Red Flags for Teens Mean
Teenagers are rarely perfect at relationships — adults are still working on them. But some lines should not be crossed. It is important to remember that in a relationship, you are responsible for treating the person you are dating with respect and kindness AND responsible for speaking up or making a change if you are not being treated well. Teenage relationships should be fun and enjoyable. If they aren’t, it is time to move on.
The free printable version of these dating red flags for teens is available through the link in the original post.
Related Reading
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- every parent needs to talk about integrity
- sincere compliments that work for tough teens
Helpful External Resources
Frequently Asked Questions: Dating Red Flags for Teens
What are the biggest dating red flags for teens?
The most serious dating red flags for teens: a partner who gets possessive when you’re with family or friends, who wants you to stop doing things you love, who makes you feel bad about your appearance, who pushes you to violate your values or boundaries, who has been violent or verbally abusive, or who wants to keep the relationship secret. Any one alone is a warning sign.
How do you talk to a teenager about unhealthy relationships?
Use questions rather than lectures. Ask if their significant other gets mad when they’re with friends. Ask if they feel free to keep doing what they love. Ask if they feel more or less confident since they started dating. Questions help teens draw their own conclusions about dating red flags for teens rather than feeling told what to think.
What should a teenager do if they recognize red flags in their relationship?
If a teen recognizes dating red flags for teens in their own relationship, trust that instinct and talk to a trusted adult. Relationships that include possessiveness, isolation from friends and family, manipulation, or any form of verbal or physical violence should end. Teenagers deserve relationships that are fun and free from constant worry.
