Last year’s first day of school. Can’t believe it is already here again!

First Day of School Letter to My Boys: 14 Things I Want You to Know

A first day of school letter is something a child can hold onto, re-read, and carry differently than a conversation had in the morning rush before the bus arrives. This one was written after many school years of watching what actually matters — not the performance, the grades, or the activities, but the character a child builds and the relationships they invest in. These are the 14 things I wanted my boys to know before they walked out that door.

To my favorite boys,

This summer has been more than I hoped it would be. I enjoyed every moment of being with you crazy four and will honestly be so sad when you three big ones walk out the door. I will miss your wild, your loud, your hugs, your kindness, and your love for each other and for me. I will look forward to 3:30 every day.

Because I am your mom, I wanted to share a few things with you before the big day that I hope you will remember.

First Day of School Principles Worth Keeping

Education is a privilege. You are incredibly lucky to be going to a great school for free. Kids all over the world wish they had this same opportunity. You have a beautiful school with a fantastic principal, qualified teachers, and volunteer parents who show up every day to educate you. I know there will be times when school is boring or too hard or no fun, but try to remember how positively lucky you are. Education means opportunity, and opportunity is priceless.

Be kind. There is no excuse for mean. Use your words wisely. Say only things that build others up. Look for ways to include, not exclude. Two rudes don’t make a right. You’ve been taught kindness — it is what we expect.

Find someone who needs a friend. Just last year you were the new kid, so you know how hard it can be. During the first week of school, find someone who needs a friend and make them feel a part of things. Don’t let anyone sit alone. Having a friend can literally change someone’s life. Be that friend.

Never lie. Lying is the quickest way to destroy a friendship and break trust. Find people who like you for the real you and allow you to stay true to who you are. Make a pact with yourself to be 100% honest this year.

Never cheat. Cheating eats at your soul and takes away your confidence. No test or paper is worth your integrity. If you make a mistake, accept the natural consequences and resolve to do better next time.

Know when to walk away and when to take a stand. As you get older, kids will say and do things that make you uncomfortable. Be bold enough to change the topic or activity, or walk away. If what they are doing is hurting someone, be brave enough to tell an adult. All of these are hard, but you are stronger than you think.

Respect your teachers. They spend countless hours preparing inventive ways to share knowledge with you. Contribute to a good educational environment and encourage others to do the same.

Keep the competition on the real field. Sports at school and P.E. are for growing friendships and learning new skills. Save the competition and intensity for games that actually matter. Never lose a friend over kickball.

Ask questions. If you don’t understand something or need to know more, ask, search, find out. Questions are what real learning is all about.

Work hard. Millions of children would love to be in your position. Show your gratitude for what you have by working hard, all the time. We expect your personal best.

Get it done. Don’t waste time whining about homework, piano, practice, or cleaning. Just get it done. If you can accomplish the important things first, I promise there will be plenty of time for your favorite activities later.

Look for the good. There will always be good and bad parts of your day. Focus on the good. You will be infinitely happier if you do.

Fill the need. Be the kind of kid who sees a need and fills it. Walking by desks? Push in the chairs. See a wrapper on the floor? Pick it up. Notice a friend who is sad? Make them happy. Is there a classroom job everyone hates? Volunteer for it. All three of you are smart and capable — give back by making the world a better place.

Talk to us. We love to hear about your day — not just what you did but how you felt about it. Never feel worried or embarrassed to tell us something that made you feel uncomfortable. We cannot fix everything, but we can support and love you through anything.

I cannot wait to see what this year brings. I never thought it would be possible but I love you more each year and am constantly amazed by your energy, talents, and good hearts. Thank you for just being you.

XOXO, Mom

Related Reading

• a note to my kids before the 2020 school year
• when the school year isn’t what you hoped
• sincere compliments for teens that work

Helpful External Resources

• Greater Good Science Center — why kindness matters in schools

Frequently Asked Questions: First Day of School Letter

What should you write in a first day of school letter to your child?

The best first day of school letter says something specific to your child: gratitude for the privilege of education, the kind of character you want them to bring (kindness, honesty, hard work), something specific about who they are that you admire, and unconditional love. This post covers 14 principles — from education being a privilege through filling the need and talking to us.

How do you encourage a child on the first day of school?

A first day of school letter is one of the most lasting ways to encourage a child — something they can re-read rather than a conversation lost in the morning rush. Keep it specific to them. The principles that land most: noticing what they do right, expressing genuine confidence in who they are, and making clear that your love is unconditional.

What do you say to a child on the first day of school?

Tell them education is a privilege. Tell them to be kind and find someone who needs a friend. Tell them to be honest. Tell them to work hard and ask questions. Tell them to look for the good and fill the need. And tell them — clearly and specifically — to talk to you. This first day of school letter covers all of these in Brooke’s own words.