What to Tell Your Kids About the Election

Last night we all watched until our eyes could no longer stay open. Early mornings and a daylight savings hangover forced my boys’ eyes shut before the real numbers were in. They woke up eagerly wanting to know who had won. I knew what to tell your kids about the election is one of the hardest questions to answer when the result is hard. I needed some time to process, to think, to reflect before I helped them make sense of their world.

I have been turning it over all day. Tonight, this is what I told my boys.

1. Sometimes Selfishness and Unkindness Win

Sometimes in life, selfishness, unkindness, and intimidation win. It’s hard to say, but it is the truth. There is a good chance that the girl you like will have a crush on someone unkind. In every school, there will be people who rise quickly because they exclude or intimidate. The ruthless can rise fast; fame is easier to find when morals are abandoned.

But — and this matters — you can choose your story. You can choose kindness and honesty. You can choose respect and love. You can be the type of person who does the right thing for the right reasons. It may not bring fame or popularity, but it will bring peace and joy. When you kneel at night, you will know you are right with yourself, right with those you love, and right with God. In the end, that is really all that matters.

2. Don’t Let People Feel Forgotten

Any time a person or group is marginalized — when they think people don’t care about them, their opinions, or their situations — it makes them angry. Do what you can, on an individual level, to let people know that they are cared about and loved. Look for commonalities and ways to unite those you associate with. Help people appreciate differences and see them as strengths instead of threats. This change can start with you, today, in your school and your neighborhood.

3. The America You Know Is Bigger Than Any Election

The America you have seen on television is not the America you know. Your America is a place where neighbors of all shapes, sizes, and colors clean up together after a windstorm. Your America is a place where teachers stay after school to help struggling students. Your America is a place where we collect food and clothing for new refugee families. Do not let one election cycle convince you of anything different. Work every day to make your America everyone’s America.

4. Have Hope

I am choosing to have hope that people can change, that perspective and understanding can soften edges, that hearts can be changed. I have faith in our system of checks and balances and I believe in the spirit of this great country and the people whose shoulders it stands on.

And so, my little and not-so-little boys, we will stay right where we are and work in our tiny corner of this world to be the change we want to see. We will love more and fight less. We will look for the good. We will share differences of opinion in civil ways. WE will make things better. And that starts right here at home.

Related Reading

• civil political discourse starts in the home
• every parent needs to talk about integrity
• god loves variety

Helpful External Resources

• Greater Good Science Center — talking to children about difficult news

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you talk to your kids about a hard election result?

Knowing what to tell your kids about the election when the result is hard: start with honesty — sometimes things don’t turn out as hoped. Give them something to do with that feeling. Teach them they can choose kindness and honesty regardless of what the world chooses. Remind them the America on TV is not the America they know. Give them hope — people can change, and they have the power to make their corner better.

What do you tell children when they are upset about an election?

What to tell your kids about the election when they are upset: validate the feeling, then redirect toward action. Help them see their job is to close the gap between people in their own daily lives — at school, in the neighborhood, in their home. The America you want to live in starts with how they treat people today.

How do you teach children hope after a difficult election?

What to tell your kids about the election and hope: people can change, systems have checks and balances, and the spirit of this country is bigger than any single result. We will stay right here and work to be the change we want to see. We will love more and fight less. WE will make things better. Children of any age can participate in that.