When Kids Didn’t Have a Great First Day of School

When kids didn’t have a great first day of school — when they were new, had a rough teacher, got in trouble, were put in the lowest reading group, couldn’t remember a math fact, sat alone at lunch, or got picked last at recess — this is for you.

Maybe they are weird or slow or shy or awkward. Maybe they wore the wrong clothes or old shoes or got a bad haircut a few days ago that couldn’t be fixed. Maybe they just always struggle.

Maybe they couldn’t find their classes or felt invisible. Maybe they didn’t feel excited but instead overwhelmed, unsure, anxious, or inadequate.

Maybe they are working through death, sickness, mental illness, or divorce and barely have energy to get by.

Maybe their friends dropped them over the summer or they chose to go separate ways. Maybe they were the butt of jokes, walked through the halls alone, didn’t make the team, or felt rejected at every turn. Maybe it’s even their own fault.

You Are Not Alone When Kids Didn’t Have a Great First Day of School

I don’t have answers or advice or a “how to” on making it all better. But you should know: you are not alone, and they are not alone. Every kid doesn’t rock the first day, or the first week, or the first year of school.

Our problems and disappointments are different, but all our mama hearts ache when any of these things happen to the little — and sometimes big — people we love unconditionally. So many of us hold our breath every morning and pray all day for something good to happen, for someone to notice, for kids to just be kind.

Cerebrally we know when kids didn’t have a great first day of school, it is building resilience, refining them and teaching them empathy and crucial life lessons that will create better people in the long run. We know others have it harder, and that our kids really are okay, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

For Every Mom Whose Child Had a Hard Start

So if the first week of school hasn’t been the best ever and you’re not sure when things will improve — if you find your heart breaking every day, if you were unprepared for how much it hurts to watch your child suffer — take comfort in knowing that thousands of mothers are feeling those same things.

You are not crying or worrying alone. We are in this together. We are all praying for our babies and hoping we do and say the right thing without making it all worse. We know they will rise and come out on the other side with scars that deepen their humanity and with a voice that can change their corner of the world.

So keep loving, keep caring, keep hoping. Show a little extra kindness to everyone you meet. It will get better. And remember — you are never alone.

Helpful External Resources

Greater Good Science Center — raising resilient children

Frequently Asked Questions

What do you do when your child has a bad first day of school?

When kids didn’t have a great first day of school, don’t rush to fix it — validate it. Acknowledge that not every kid rocks the first day, first week, or first year. Show them you see their struggle without panicking alongside them. Keep loving them, keep showing up, and trust that every difficulty is building the resilience and empathy that will make them better people in the long run.

How do you help a child who is struggling in the first week of school?

When kids didn’t have a great first day of school: be fully present when they are ready to talk, without pushing. Let them see their struggle doesn’t change your unconditional love. Avoid minimizing by listing children who have it harder. Show a little extra kindness to everyone you meet — it sets an example that something good can be done even when things feel bad.

Is it normal for the first day of school to go badly?

Yes. When kids didn’t have a great first day of school, they are not alone. Not every kid rocks the first day, week, or year. New teachers, changed friend groups, wrong clothes, hard schedules — so much is outside anyone’s control. What builds beneath the surface is resilience, empathy, and the capacity to keep going when things are hard. Those qualities are worth more than a perfect first day.