I Left My Phone at Home — The Results Were Priceless

I left my phone at home on a Sunday evening, and the results were priceless — in the most literal sense. Somewhere along the way, a phone that started as just a phone had morphed into a best friend and favorite companion. Staying home with the kids while still completely in step with the outside world felt like having it all. Until the Sunday the phone was dead and there was a choice to make. She walked a whole block to the park without it, feeling a little panicky.

What Happened When I Left My Phone at Home

That night at the park was different. Instead of sitting on the sidelines virtually catching up on what other families were doing together that evening, she inserted herself into her own family. She played soccer with her boys and verified their assumptions that she is a horrible athlete. When her asthma kicked in, she exited the game and went down the slides with her toddler. They yelled animal noises over and over again and laughed and laughed together.

When the little guy wanted to join the soccer game, she sat on the bench and watched — really watched — her family play. She noticed how big, fast, and aggressive they had all become. She saw their dad fly around the field proving he still had it. She smiled as her 2-year-old cheered and jumped and ran with his arms swinging furiously. She marveled at what great buddies they had all become.

She had a minute alone to think, to reflect, to appreciate. She sat and breathed in the night: the perfect weather, the mountains, the kids, the giggles and shrieks. She took time to be grateful for what she had instead of scrolling through pictures of things she wanted. It felt good. She felt present and alive in her own reality, a feeling that had been dormant for too long.

What She Found When She Got Home After Leaving the Phone Behind

When she arrived home after three hours away from the phone, it was shocking to see she hadn’t missed a thing — and she was not nearly as important as she had thought. Two non-urgent text messages. Not even one new email.

We wonder why kids refuse to unplug, why they don’t make eye contact, why they act like their phone is their lifeline. Perhaps they are learning by example from the adults in their life.

The Resolution After Leaving the Phone at Home

When I left my phone at home and returned three hours later to nothing, I started to see technology clearly. Social media has strengthened relationships with friends and family and given support, advice, and love. But it should not be a voyeuristic tool: a peeping telescope, a one-way mirror, a springboard for envy. Using it for the right reasons, in moderation, is good. However, its proper place should be much lower on the priority list than it usually is.

The change: the phone will no longer hold her hostage while there are real people to love and subtle moments to cherish. Don’t expect an immediate response to every text, email, or phone call. She may not be able to comment on your kids’ piano recital because she is busy listening to her own kids make music.

As they walked home — a little sweaty and a lot happy — her 7-year-old said, “This was a really great day, huh?” And it was. There was no camera to capture the moment, but none was needed. She knew she was there. Her husband knew she was there. Her kids knew she was there. They had truly spent an evening together. She lived it. And it changed her. No photo necessary.

Related Reading

• my minivan: a sacred place
• why we are taking the fun out of life
• how to reduce screen time for teens

Helpful External Resources

• Greater Good Science Center — how phones affect family connection

Frequently Asked Questions

What happens when you leave your phone at home for a day?

When Brooke left her phone at home for one evening, she inserted herself into her own family instead of watching from the sidelines. She played soccer, went down slides, really watched her children for the first time in a while. She felt present and alive in her own reality — a feeling that had been dormant for too long. When she got home: 2 non-urgent texts, zero new emails.

How does phone use affect family time?

One ding from technology immediately pulls all attention away from what matters most, while crying and screaming cannot. How many times have a child’s feelings and joys been put on hold so a parent could just “check that message”? The lesson from leaving the phone at home: we are not nearly as important as we think we are — and the moments we miss while checking are irreplaceable.

How do you break the habit of checking your phone all the time?

After leaving the phone at home and experiencing the results: stop expecting others to respond immediately, and stop expecting yourself to. You may miss commenting on someone’s piano recital because you’re busy listening to your own kids make music. Social media used in moderation and for the right reasons is good. Everything else should wait. The real people in front of you cannot.