Great Grandparenting: A Family Theme

Having a grandparenting family theme creates a wonderful bond — and I got to experience one from the inside. I was raised by two amazing people dedicated to teaching us, showing us love, and keeping us close. I feel incredibly blessed every day. They are now doing the same for their grandchildren and adult children. This past year, they taught us all through a grandparenting family theme, and it was so special to watch each family member do his or her best to take that theme to heart.

You could do this in your own little family, or it makes a wonderful extended family goal. You can make it as simple or as intricate as you have the energy for — it is incredibly flexible.

The Grandparenting Family Theme: BE THE GOOD

The Intro: My parents shared a beautiful song and video by Alex Boye and Carmen Rasmusen Herbert and another inspirational video that so perfectly illustrates being the good. After the videos, they shared why having our family be the good is important to them. It set the tone for an entire year.

The Shirt: Each person in the family was given a BE THE GOOD shirt. Good quality, cute fit, and we wore them all of the time. One day each month we were all supposed to wear them — a simple, visible reminder of the grandparenting family theme we had chosen together.

The Book: The book Unselfish was chosen as the companion to the year. It is inspirational for all ages and pairs perfectly with a year of trying to be the good in your corner of the world.

The Monthly Challenge: Each month my parents texted a family calendar with special dates highlighted and — most importantly — the monthly challenge. Each month we were given one item from the list below:

• Be the good by thanking someone (write thank-you notes, give verbal thank-yous)
• Be the good in your own family (serve your brothers or sisters; go the extra mile)
• Be the good in your neighborhood (rake leaves; shovel snow; take in garbage cans; bring dinner)
• Be the good in your community (help at a community event; serve in a shelter; clean up a park)
• Be the good in the world (do chores and donate to a humanitarian fund; learn about a special cause)
• Be the good by sharing your talents (sing in church; tutor a younger sibling; make someone laugh)
• Be the good by supporting a missionary or soldier (write a letter; send a care package)
• Be the good by serving your parents (thank them; do a special chore; listen; love them)
• Be the good by praying for someone (pray for someone in need all month; think about them and help them)
• Be the good to someone you don’t know (see a need and fill it; make a new friend; help a stranger)
• Be the good by paying compliments (use your words for good; say something nice to everyone you meet)
• Be the good at school or work (do the jobs no one wants; help a friend or coworker; bring in a treat)

The Reporting: Each month when we gathered together, each person took a turn to say what they did to be the good that month. Sometimes it was brief. But the important thing was that most months, everyone worked a little harder to be the good in their own corner of the world. You can do this with family near or far through video call, and it is not religion-specific.

How to Start Your Own Grandparenting Family Theme

You do not need a theme as elaborate as BE THE GOOD to make a grandparenting family theme work. Start with a word or phrase. Make it something everyone can live out in completely different ways — a six-year-old and a sixty-year-old should both be able to find something that counts. Then build in monthly check-ins so the theme stays alive instead of fading. We cannot wait for this year’s new theme.

Related Reading

• our family theme: be the good
• simple ways for kids to serve
• civil political discourse starts in the home

Helpful External Resources

• Greater Good Science Center — how shared purpose strengthens families

Frequently Asked Questions: Grandparenting Family Theme

How do you start a family theme for an extended family?

A grandparenting family theme works best starting with a simple, memorable phrase — short enough to fit on a shirt. My parents chose BE THE GOOD. Then build around it: a video or moment to introduce it, an item that represents it, a monthly challenge distributed by text or email, and a monthly check-in where each person shares what they did that month. The reporting is what makes the grandparenting family theme stick.

What makes a good family theme for the whole year?

A good grandparenting family theme is simple, meaningful, flexible, and outward-focused. Simple enough to remember. Meaningful to the family. Flexible enough to be lived by a six-year-old and a sixty-year-old in completely different ways. Outward-focused: themes about serving others create more energy and closeness than self-improvement themes alone. BE THE GOOD hits all four.

How do you keep an extended family theme going for a whole year?

Monthly challenges and regular check-ins are what keep a grandparenting family theme alive for twelve months. Without them, a theme fades. With them, it builds momentum. My parents texted a calendar with that month’s challenge highlighted each month. At gatherings, each person shared their effort. The important thing was that most months, everyone worked a little harder to be the good in their own corner of the world.