My best #momhack ? Find a motherhood (or fatherhood) mentor. Every successful career is peppered with mentors, people one step ahead who give hope, perspective, goals, and a dose of reality when necessary. There are so many women who have molded and loved me on this parenting path and I feel so blessed.

They are the women who tell you that it is okay to nurse your baby to bed, that your 2 year old will not grow up to be a sociopath because he bites, that you don’t need to have the smartest or most athletic kid, that your messy house is evidence of your priorities being spot on, that your sassy tween will one day call and thank you for everything, and that most teenagers push boundaries and still turn out pretty great. They let you cry when you you feel like a failure and then list all the reasons why you are not. They love you, just as you are.

This photo is of Andrea, a current motherhood mentor. She has experience with hard things and loves without judgement. She cares, believes in me and helps me believe in myself. She is a gift.

Everyone needs an Andrea. Look for someone who…
1. Is a little removed. Moms and sisters are AWESOME (especially mine), but leaving that circle offers new ideas from someone with a little distance.
2. Is older and wiser. They get you out of the weeds and give perspective that can only come from experience.
3. Has gone through something hard. They will have empathy and help you prioritize what is really important.
4. Doesn’t judge. You can only open up and get help when you feel safe, so choose wisely.
5. Has time and energy for you. You won’t need hours, but you will need someone who has time to talk and care.
6. You look up to…certainly not perfect, but great for all the right reasons.

If you have someone in mind, invite her to lunch, give her a call, pay her a visit, open up and share. If she is who you think she is, she will be thrilled at the chance to love you. The more people in your corner on this motherhood journey, the better.