What Every Parent Needs to Know Before Your Child Signs Up for Instagram

Before your child signs up for Instagram, there are things you need to understand that aren’t obvious from the outside. Instagram is booming, simple to use, and full of pictures — at face value, it seems harmless, maybe even safe for kids. But after years as an Instagrammer, Brooke realized those feelings were fairly naive. Only you know what your children are mature enough to handle, but here is what you should know before you say yes.

9 Things to Know Before Your Child Signs Up for Instagram

1. Direct Messages. In the top right corner of the home screen is a mailbox holding all Instagram direct messages. This is where kids send private pictures and messages to each other — not on their visible feed. This is a hot spot for nude picture exchanges and requests, group bullying, and unsavory group conversations. Many parents think that following their child means they see everything. They do not. Check direct messages regularly by logging into their account, or use the linked account feature (see #9).

2. Explore. The magnifying glass at the bottom lets users search everything on Instagram — hashtags, people, places. Even innocent searches can turn up explicit images. Purposeful searches for pornography will produce results that teens will have a hard time forgetting. There is no search history, so all of this can be done privately. If your child is not mature enough to handle this responsibly, allow Instagram only on your phone where you can be present.

3. Model Accounts. As a secure adult woman, Brooke still gets pulled into negative body thinking when she follows too many fitness accounts with perfect physiques. Transfer those feelings to a teenage girl following superstars and fashion icons. Talk to your kids about who they follow and why. Go through their “following” list together regularly and weed out accounts that breed comparison. Check in often about how they feel about themselves.

4. Unknown Requests. Even private accounts get follow requests from strangers. These can include accounts that are entirely pornographic. Teach your children to never click on a name out of curiosity and never accept a request from someone they do not actually know. Go through their requests together regularly.

5. Hurt Feelings. The minute your child gets on Instagram, they will see all the fun they are not part of — birthday parties, best friend shout-outs, weekend adventures that do not include them. Be honest with your children before your child signs up for Instagram: this will happen, and they need to be prepared. Encourage them to follow only their actual friends. If it becomes too much, shut it down for a while and reevaluate.

6. Rating Posts and TBH Posts. Kids can rate each other and leave “to be honest” posts — exchanges that can quickly become about popularity, appearance, and social ranking. Remind your children that their value is not determined by their likes and followers.

7. Instagram Stories. Short videos or pictures that disappear in 24 hours — which means you can miss something important. The best approach: be vigilant about who your child follows, since that controls what stories they see. When checking the account, don’t forget to click the stories too.

8. Disappearing Photos. Instagram allows users to send disappearing photos in direct messages — a feature added to compete with Snapchat. Once seen, the photo goes away. Talk to your child about this: nothing ever truly disappears in the digital age.

9. Linked Accounts. Parents can add their child’s account to their own Instagram. In profile settings, click “add account.” This allows you to toggle between accounts, see all DMs and group messages, and stay informed. It is good for kids to know that someone is always checking — their social media life is not private.

The Bottom Line Before Your Child Signs Up for Instagram

Being aware, open, and honest is the most important thing. There is no magic age for readiness. If you don’t have trust and open communication established, do not allow unlimited Instagram yet. Start with a trial run on your phone as the password holder. These kids have a lifetime to build an online presence — an extra year or two of protection is not the worst gift you can give them.

Related Reading

• 10 things before getting your child a smartphone
• I love you too much to get you a phone
• how to reduce screen time for teens

Helpful External Resources

• Common Sense Media — Instagram parent review

Frequently Asked Questions

What do parents need to know before letting their child use Instagram?

Before your child signs up for Instagram: direct messages are private and hidden from following parents — link your account. The Explore tab can surface explicit content. Model accounts damage body image. Unknown follow requests can include pornographic accounts. Hurt feelings are virtually guaranteed. Stories disappear in 24 hours. Disappearing photos exist. Set accounts to private immediately and use the linked account feature to toggle between your account and theirs.

Is Instagram safe for elementary or middle school kids?

There is no magic age. Before your child signs up for Instagram, you need a high level of trust and open communication. Start with a trial run on your own phone where you are the password holder. Allow it only when you are present. These kids have a lifetime to manage their online presence — giving them an extra year of freedom from that pressure is not the worst thing a parent can do.

How do you monitor your child’s Instagram?

Before your child signs up for Instagram, set up the linked account feature: go to settings, press “add account,” enter their username and password. You can then toggle between your account and theirs and see all direct messages and group messages. Beyond that: check followers and following lists regularly, review stories, and keep the conversation open about who makes you uncomfortable and why.