8 Things Teens Need Before Getting a Cell Phone
Getting a phone is a BIG decision, and I’m not sure we take it seriously enough. It’s not a “right”; it’s a privilege.
Kids usually want them so badly; it’s a great opportunity to make sure they have the skills and knowledge that will make their cell phone journey a little better for both the kids and the parents.
Being competent in these 8 areas is a great start.
Many parents also have their kids read both volumes of Modern Manners for Teens and discuss them before they are allowed to have a phone. I love that idea too. See them HERE
I’m a huge fan of delaying cell phones as long as possible and wading in slowly with a phone that doesn’t have internet or social media access, like @gabbwireless. It’s been a lifesaver for us, and I’m truly grateful for it.
I just don’t think our kids are ready to deal with all the internet and social media throws at them at such young ages.
If your child is hoping for a cell phone, let them know you need to first see these 8 things…
- Responsibility for their things
Why? Because cell phones are expensive.
Parents need to know that kids can take care of high priced items before they invest in them.
What this looks like: Keeping track of things, putting things away, taking good care of things
- Responsibility in school
Why? Because cell phones are a distraction.
Parents need to see a good track record of kids staying on task in school and personally being engaged in learning before they introduce something that distracts from it.
What this looks like: turning in assignments, studying for tests, asking for help when needed, and READING for leisure.
- Good time management skills
Why? Because cell phones make it easy for hours to fly by without even noticing.
Parents need to see that kids can prioritize their life in a way that allows the most important things to be accomplished first.
What this looks like: minimal procrastination, showing up reliably and on time, waking up independently, getting crucial things done before fun.
- Good communication skills
Why? Because cell phones can both complicate and decrease communication.
Parents need to see that kids can communicate clearly and confidently with peers and adults.
What this looks like: participating in conversations, sharing thoughts and feelings, asking for things politely, being a good friend.
- Physical activity
Why? Because cell phones make most people more sedentary.
Parents need to see their kids have healthy habits because moving the body helps with physical and mental health.
What this looks like: exercise, getting outside, playing a sport, walking or riding a bike, doing active things with friends.
- Engagement in life
Why? Because cell phones are powerful and can often influence people to live mostly online.
Parents need to see kids with a strong connection to the real world because too much virtual living leads to disconnection and depression.
What this looks like: participating with the family, getting together with friends, involvement in extracurriculars, interest in ideas or clubs, screen time already in check.
- Impulse control
Why? Because in order to do phones well, kids must be able to think before they text or send something.
Parents need to know that they can trust their kids to be thoughtful about their online life. Kids who don’t have this control end up in a lot of difficult situations.
What this looks like: Controlling anger, talking nicely to family and friends, thinking before you speak or act, taking responsibility for mistakes.
- Parent connection
Why? Because cell phones and screen time often become a point of contention between parents and kids.
Parents want to start from a good place so phones don’t get in the way of family relationships.
What this looks like: open conversations, respect both ways, trust, gratitude, having fun together.
Kids who can demonstrate competence (not perfection) in these areas may be ready for a phone when the time feels right. I always suggest starting with a phone (like Gabb) that allows them to baby step into things and allows parents to stay involved in the learning process.
If kids know these are qualifications for starting a phone journey, parents can make it clear that when one of these areas is suffering, phone time may need to be looked at carefully.
What other skills do you think kids need to demonstrate before they are ready for a phone?
This is a great time to teach them because they are so willing to learn!
